Blog Archive

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Story Time: My First Time Falling in Love

Today is story time. This is my first story time that I am going to share with you guys, so please tell me what do you think about my first story.

Since today is Valentine's Day, this first story will be about my first time falling in love. In this story, I will explain how we meet, how I feel in love with her, and the love letter that I wrote for her. This story can help you think of some ideas on what to do when you are falling in love for the first time, just want a simple laugh or both. If you have any questions and comments about my story, please ask me in the comment section below. So, get some popcorn, drinks, and a place to relax. Here is the story of my first time falling in love.

Acquaintance and Friend (Late April 2015-June 2015)

It was almost the end of April 2015, just after my 18th birthday, and it was almost time for me to graduate from high school. I was meeting people on HelloTalk now (I been deleted my account a long time ago, so no friend requests please), and there was this girl that sent me a friend request on HelloTalk. Her name was Mami Omata. I was completely surprised and amazed by her complete beauty. I was so hypnotized by her beauty that I accidentally deleted her friend request. I was so embarrassed, and I searched for her account to apologized for rejecting her friend request. Shockingly, she laughed before we introduced ourselves. Our first conversation was our time at out senior prom. She told me that the DJs at her prom was completely fat and lazy and that I could do way better than them (even though I never actually DJ before).  At the time, she was in the northern part of America for a high school exchange program, so communication wasn't really bad.

We texted each other almost every day, and despite knowing each other for barely a month, we became really close. We started exchanging each other LINE account and Snapchat account, then we just keep texting each other. It was the first time that I actually got excited whenever someone texts me back. It was just my heart was beating every time she texts me back.

When June starts, I was forced to go to a summer camp since I just got out of high school, plus jobs in the summer were packed, so going to the summer camp was the only option that I have. During the summer camp, Mami and I were still texting each other, despite that after she graduated from high school that she have to go back to Yokohama, Japan. The people at the summer camp was surprised that I was texting someone, and they think that Mami was my girlfriend. Well, technically, they mostly believed that I was being catfished because a girl cannot be that beautiful to talk to me, which ended up becoming annoying every time they made a conversation about Mami and me.

On one weekday on June (couldn't really remember it), when we were texting, she wanted to call me. Even though I said yes, I was completely nervous because it was my first time talking to her, and I was scared that I would say something wrong. We started chatting on the phone, and the first 5 minutes was completely awkward, but after 10 minutes, we became more comfortable and we ended up talking for about one to two hours. We had a great time talking to each other, and I began to start getting butterflies in my stomach.

The Heartbeat (June 2015-July 2015)

Mami and I were started to texting each other every single day. At the time, I didn't really remember the first time that we haven't talked to each other. We even talked to each other on nighttime. I remembered one Saturday night that I told her that I wanted to learn more about her. Her likes, dislikes, hopes, passions, and dreams. We ended up learning about each other on that Saturday night. I honestly risked my sleep and being punished from my mother for sleeping at the church on Sunday morning just to learn more about her.

As we became closer and closer to each other, I remembered that one conversation that made my heart skipping beats. When we were talking to each other on the phone, we had the conversation about our love lives. I told her that I never had a girlfriend before, and she told me that she just got out of a bad relationship from her ex-boyfriend. She asked me that can we be in a romantic relationship. My whole body became numb and my heart was racing nonstop when she asked me that question. As much as I want Mami to become my very first girlfriend, I though that we need to learn more about each other and we haven't actually met each other, so I "idiotically" declined the offer and told her that we have to learn more about each other in order to be in a relationship. She agreed on my decision, and we still became closer and closer as good friends.

I honestly think that I made a bad decision since I started to fall in love with Mami, and I told her that I want us to be in a romantic relationship. She told me that she's following my advice for us to wait until we actually meet each other. I feel a little defeated, but at least I still can talk to her.

The Hiatus (Early August 2015-June 2016)

It was in the beginning of August, and I tried to call and talk to her, but she didn't answer my calls nor read my text messages. At the time, I was panicking and was wondering if I had done something wrong. I went on vacation with my family, and I had a great time. One morning, during our vacation, Mami called me and I tried to talk to her privately but I ended up getting into trouble from my older sister. Again, I tried calling her and texting her before I started my freshman year of college, but she hasn't called nor read my messages. I felt depressed and defeated that she hadn't replied back to me.

While I was in college, I thought about making a love letter to her explaining my true feelings about her. When I have some free time from school, soccer, and learning Japanese, I tried to find some inspiration to pour all of my feelings out of my heart and put it in the love letter. After months of listening to music, reading romantic books, and watching romantic movies, I perfected the love letter.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present you my completed love letter.

When I confessed my feelings to her without the letter, she said that she have to reject me since she's not good at long-distance relationship. Later on in the year, I finally gave her the letter, and she was grateful that I said that to her. However, she has a boyfriend at the time and because her boyfriend was jealous of me (first time a guy was jealous of me), she has no other choice but to delete all contacts from me.

Was I upset about it? Of course I was upset. I was so madly in love with Mami. I was completely upset about losing Mami again, but I had no other choice but to let her go. As much as I don't want to let Mami go, deep down into my heart, I believed that I am still not mature enough to have a girlfriend. Plus, when she said that her boyfriend helps her with boxing, I had to quit so I wouldn't die and I am a pacifist (I don't believe in fighting).

What I learned

While I was in love with her, I did learn a lot of things. The first thing that I learned that falling in love with someone means that I love their strengths and their weaknesses, and I would love someone that is on their highest high and/or their lowest low. Also, falling in love with someone is the only time that I was really vulnerable to someone. It was really risky for my emotions to be completely vulnerable.

The second thing is to take the loss no matter how much you disagree with it. I can't change her mind to fall in love with me. So, taking the rejection was the mature step.

The third thing was to not single out all girls for this one girl because if I just think about her all the time and there are girls I met in my life that can be better than her, I would be dissatisfied. People were telling me that I have to move on from her and meet someone new. At the time, I was stubborn about being together with Mami, and I didn't want to listen to any advice that people wanted to say to me that is not dealing with Mami and me. I realized that they are right. I should of move on from the beginning.

Because of my stubbornness by falling in love with Mami, I had lost a lot of good friends, I tend to lost control of my emotions, I didn't get the chance to pay attention much at school, and I made my family worried about me going to Yokohama because they believe that the main reason I am going to Yokohama is because of Mami. Now, I believed that they are many other things that are more important than finding the love of my life, and I am still young so I still need to improve on myself before taking care of someone else.

The final thing was to not be scared of holding back your feelings. It was the first time that I fell in love with someone, and I keep trying to put every single feeling on the letter so whenever the decision that she made, I wouldn't regret anything that I didn't say to her.

Some people might ask me, "Jay!! What would happen if she texts you back? Or you even have the chance to actually meet her?" Well, honestly, I don't know. I haven't actually thought about my reactions if Mami comes back into my life. I do say this. By all the lessons I learned in my life, I would welcome her with open arms, like everyone else in the world!!

Despite not having the chance of calling her my girlfriend, I always believe that she's a great friend and an amazing woman for someone to be with.

That's it for story time!! Please tell me what do you think about the story. Did it help you feel better about romance or not? Please tell me in the comments section below. Thanks so much, have a nice day, and happy studying!